The Bacon Egg & Cheese Bagel

Dragging your ass into work after throwing 5+ glasses of wine down your throat the night before is tough. Not that I had to do that today. Come on, that's gross! But if I had, I would be pretty into this bagel, which is actually made with bacon, egg and cheese. It gets my vote for food item most likely to posses magical powers to cure a hangover on the spot.

And, yes, if you're wondering, I will totally be the slob that eats bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel made out of bacon, egg and cheese. Did that just blow your mind?

Cheese Paper

I spied this cheese paper from Murray's in a recent issue of Bon Appetit and fell in love. Apparently my obsession with cheese has become so severe that I now need to buy accessories for my cheese. But seriously, how cute is it? Such a good idea for keeping your cheese fresh.

Dear Chickpea Lover,

This recipe is for you!

Ps, dear reader(s), you should know that Mysterious Blogger LOVES chickpeas.

Typical Day

Since it's going to be over 50 degrees out today, I got all excited and dug out a white Theory skirt I bought last summer to wear to work. Clearly, I forgot to dry clean it at the end of the season because I sat down at my desk this morning and noticed an orange sodie stain all over the right side. What a slob I am! But I do love my orange sodie so I guess I'll have to wear it with pride!

The Case of the Body in the Basement

I was a little late getting into The Wire - I first started watching it in early 2009 - but when I did get into it, let's just say I had a hard time getting out. When I finished the series around this time last year, I felt like there was a serious void in my life. That's when I started stalking creator David Simon and devouring all his other works, including The Corner (both book and miniseries) and his nonfiction book Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets.
I'm currenly in the middle of re-reading Homicide. It is such a wonderful book, and potentially the best crime book I've ever read, either in fiction or nonfiction. The basis for the book is David Simon's true life experience trailing a group of homicide detectives in a Baltimore squad room. He shadowed these detectives for a year in the office, at crime scenes, in the morgue, at the bar, in court. He basically was a detective for a year (another dream job alert).

The beauty of this book is that it's not afraid to be a completely accurate documentation of what life is like for a homicide detective. Of course these guys take their jobs seriously as murder investigators, but come on, if you didn't find some way to laugh about dealing with death for a living, you wouldn't be able to make it through the days. The dry, slightly perverse sense of humor these guys have about their job is the book's strongest element and frankly, what makes it most interesting.

I actually found myself laughing out loud last night as I got to a scene where two detectives solve the murder of a furniture salesman in Baltimore's ghetto. The case was so ridiculous that even I could have cracked it. The killer left the body in his own basement before reporting to work! I guess sometimes, when you have to kill another dude over $10, it's a real hassle to move his body afterwards and you don't want to be late for your job. But the best part was that these real life detectives actually refer to the fact that they "cracked" the case, telling their boss, "What cracked this case is that the killer left the dead guy in his house."

Sometimes solving a murder really is as easy as 1-2-3!

Life's Theme Song

If you've seen HBO's How to Make it in America, then you already know. The series' theme song is by far the best part about it. Coincidentally, it describes my current life situation perfectly.

I Blew It!

I have been sweating this one piece bathing suit from J Crew for months now. As we move into spring, I have officially become obsessed with all things striped. And, let's be serious, I kind of want to become the model in this photo. Can't you see her putting on a white, gauzy cover-up and then going to sip glasses of rose at a beachside restaurant on the French riveria? Since I, too, do that all the time, I knew I had to have this bathing suit.

However, I was a little torn about ordering a one piece (does wearing one make me officially old?), so I held off for a bit to think about it. Huge mistake! I went to pull the trigger yesterday and it was sold out. Today, there are a few sizes available, but not mine. I snoozed and lost!!

Vegetarian Bolognese Sauce

I made this surpisingly delicious vegetable bolognese recipe last winter, and woke up today with an intense craving for it. I have no idea why - I didn't dream of veggies and I haven't made it since - but it's one of those things where I know I'll just have to make it in the next few days to get it off my mind.

When I first found the recipe, I had been expecting it to be reasonably good - it's Giada after all and I love vegetables - but it turned out to be one the top meals that I've cooked for myself, ever. This sauce is so satisfying and filled with flavor that I promise, you don't miss the meat. In fact, there's no way that you'd mistake this dish for a pasta primavera type meal. The red wine and mushrooms add a savory, complex flavor and it's really more of a winter meal than a spring one, so my days are numbered to enjoy it.

The first time I made this recipe, I didn't have a food processor, and the chopping took FOREVER. I am so looking forward to letting my mini food processor blade do the work for me this weekend!

Fancy Water

I was in Miami recently and my hotel put out giant water pitchers every morning poolside. Normally I find drinking water pretty boring, but each day the pitchers would contain different fruit slices. One day it was grapefruit, the next orange, followed by lemon. It made drinking water so much more interesting and refreshing!

Since I've returned, I've vowed to recreate these fancy water pitchers to keep in my fridge. I made a lemon slice one earlier this week and it was delicious. Next up, strawberries!

Soup Party!

As I was breezing through my regular blogs on the internets this evening, I came across this post on 101 Cookbooks. I'm not that into the recipe featured (coconut in soup seems inappropriate to me), HOWEVER, the writer encountered this recipe at a soup party! How amazing/wonderful/everything good in life all rolled into one night! How have I not hosted or attended one of these? Apparently the way that it works is that the host makes a bunch of different soups and the guests show up with drinks or appetizers. Must figure out a way to host one of these before the weather turns warm. My life now has renewed meaning!!

Turns out Clark Rockefeller's Story is Hilarious

I did end up tuning in to the encore presentation of Lifetime Original Movie "Who is Clark Rockefeller?" last evening. I watched on my couch alone, wearing a snuggie while drinking a cup of tea and snacking on a mini Snickers bar. If you were wondering whether I'm destined to die alone, surrounded by 10 cats, I think the previous sentence answers your question.

Moving on, I still plan on sharing my thoughts on the movie in a blog post, but more urgently, I need to tell you about some details of Clark Rockefeller's life and times. I read a Vanity Fair profile of him titled "The Man in the Rockefeller Suit," and it confirmed that he is indeed one of the top candidates for profile by Lifetime, ever. His "talents", habits and the ridiculously absurd details he dropped into casual conversation about himself are a true work of art. Per the Vanity Fair article, here are a few examples:

• When asked if he'd like to meet future wife Sandra Boss, he replied, "Of course." In fact, he would like to throw a party for her in his apartment. It would be a Clue party, based on the board game in which the players are guests at a mansion who try to determine which one among them killed Mr. Boddy, their millionaire host.
• He spoke several languages fluently, including Klingon, the language of the Star Trek warrior race.
• Once, they went to a club that had a grand view of the skyline. Gazing out the window, the friend exclaimed, “Oh, look, Clark, you can see Rockefeller Center from here!” And he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, and he said, ‘Yes, I have the key right here!’
• One day he came home to say he’d had an unpleasant altercation with a woman in Central Park while walking the dog. Soon the police came to the apartment to speak with Rockefeller about the incident. Shortly after that he announced that he didn’t want to live in Manhattan anymore.
• He told one [lady friend] that he was the model for the effete and phobic Dr. Niles Crane character on Frasier.
• He told her [another lady friend] he was 40, a Yale graduate, and a single parent with a seven-year-old daughter, produced by a surrogate mother. He was on his way to China on a business trip for his work as a nuclear physicist, and had just come from giving his daughter’s class a one-hour tour of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
• He texted yet another lady friend the following: “In a submarine. Crowded. Strange. Thought of you a minute ago.”

I don't even know where to start. The fact that he invited his wife on their first date by creating a Clue theme party at his apartment, casting himself as Professor Plum? Genius! (Note to universe: can this happen to me, please?) The fact that he sends texts from crowded submarines? Amazing! Most of all, the fact that most of the time, people did not explode with laughter in his face upon hearing stuff like this? Truly astounding! I salute you, Mr. Rockefeller*!

*I should also mention that he probably killed some people back in the 80's, so it's not all fun and games. Killing people is bad.

Maybe this makes me a dirtbag…

Have you ever heard some news – for example, a total dirtbag you knew in college got married—and your first thought is not “Wow, how great for them! They must have really gotten it together! I’m so happy!” and it’s more like…….how on earth did this person get married when I am still single?

I feel badly when I think it, but sometimes that’s really what I think.

Dream Job Alert!

It seems like the city of New York is getting really pissed that fancy clubs are becoming increasingly lax about enforcing the smoking rules. I get both sides; it really makes waking up from a night at a club a lot less depressing when you don't stink of smoke, but on the other hand, if you're spending $2,000+ to party at a club and you want a cig, you want to feel like that's your own business.

To sniff out the clubs that may have turned into underground smoking lairs, per the New York Times, city officials have taken things to the next level and deputized some hip youngsters (or young hipsters) like us:

"...in recent months, the department has deputized a team of inspectors — many of them younger and hipper-looking than the stereotypical bureaucrat — to work into the wee hours, posing as patrons and hunting for tolerance of smoking by clubs’ employees. "

The New York Times left one key detail out of this story: how exactly do I become a deputized smoking inspector? The job sounds amazing! The typical day would consist of doing whatever you want all day, then hitting da club at night. You'd get dressed all young and hip-like, flash your super important deputy inspector badge at the door, cut the line, enter and get some drinks. (Note: I am aware that steps 2 and 3 of the previous sentence are fantasies, but let's just go with it.) Hang out and be hip for a few hours so as not to attract undue attention to yourself, then put your nose to the grindtone, because it's time to start cracking the case about what the real deal is up in this club. Start grubbing some cigs from patrons and openly lighting up. If you get kicked out, the club is clean. Go to a different club and begin the same routine over again. If not, repeat til you're ready to go home and report them to the authorities in the morning! What a life!

Best thing I've heard all day....

Via Taegan Goddard's Political Wire

Linda McMahon (R), who is running for the U.S. Senate in Connecticut, owns a 47-foot sport yacht named "Sexy Bitch," according to the Stamford Advocate.

Ripped from the Headlines: SVU or Lifetime Original?

Whenever a particularly salacious, disgusting or ridiculous news story breaks out, my friend Secret Blogger and I like to predict whether it will be made into a Lifetime Original movie, and episode of L&O: SVU, or, in some cases, both.
I’ve outlined below some of the basic ranking criteria we will use to rate news stories. While these guidelines are not legally binding to NBC or Lifetime, I do hope executives at respective parent companies GE and Walt Disney take note and follow our handy rules of thumb.


Criteria for Episodes of SVU
• The crime takes place in New York City.
• Rich high school students who attend a fancy prep school involved.
• Hookers or strippers trying to make it in the Big City.
• Deliverymen, taxi drivers or restaurant wait staff are initially suspects, always found innocent, and usually provide key eye witness testimony unknowingly.
• Assigned case detective is a loose cannon who may or may not let this case cost him his badge.
• Proves people are, at the core, dirt bags but luckily NYPD always saves the day.

Criteria for Lifetime Original Movies
• The crime takes place the Hamptons or a “Wealthy suburb” of any major American city.
• Rich high school students who attend fancy boarding school are involved.
• Kidnapping victim raised as a different person, but secretly knows the truth about their identity.
• Key player in crime older white man, possibly lawyer, definitely businessman. Smokes, drinks at office and gym while wearing track suits. (Could be played by Brian Dennehy.)
• Hookers or strippers trying to pay for their college educations. (Could be played by Kellie Martin)
• Ruthless villain who will protect his/her secrets at ALL COSTS.
• Proves truth is stranger than fiction.

The Gold Standard: Both SVU and Lifetime
• The crime involves multiple hidden identities, families and/or careers.
• A social networking site such as Facebook, MySpace, or even Friendster reveals many clues.
• Teachers are involved in love triangles with parents, students or other teachers.


xoxo Mysterious Blogger

White Bean Chicken Chili

Much like my colleague, I love soup. I also LOVE slow cookers. There is nothing better than getting home after a long day of cracking cases and crushing deals and finding some piping hot soup ready for dinner. This is White Bean Chicken Chili is best in the winter, so make it before it gets too warm out.

Ingredients:
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 boneless chicken breast halves, diced (You don’t have to use big ones. You can use the thin boneless skinless chicken breasts)
• 12 to 16 ounces chicken sausage ( I like Aidell’s chicken apple sausage the best)
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 cans (about 16 ounces each) Great Northern Beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 1/2 cups tomatillo salsa
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes with juice, chili-style works best
• 2 tablespoons finely chopped jalapeno peppers
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Preparation: In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions, diced chicken, and sliced sausage; sauté until onions are tender and chicken is cooked through.

Put the drained beans in a 4 to 6-quart slow cooker; add the skillet mixture and all remaining ingredients. You might feel like you want to add more liquid as it doesn’t look like that much, but it works itself out.

Cover and cook on HIGH for 3 to 4 hours or LOW for 6 to 8 hours. Serve plain or with cheese, sour cream and tortilla strips. You can also serve with biscuits or cornbread.

xoxo Mysterious Blogger

Weekend Storm Crushes Dreams

Have you, like me, been dying to see the new Lifetime Original Movie "Who Is Clark Rockefeller?" starring Eric McCormack? Maybe, unlike me, you actually remembered that it was premiering on Saturday night at 9pm and tried to watch it. If you did, unfortunately for you, the nonstop rain in the northeast this weekend foiled yet another one of your plans. Apparently the broadcast of the premiere was interrupted due to technical difficulties. How embarrassing for Lifetime!

The good news is that the movie will be replayed tonight at 9pm. I can't wait to watch. Here are a few reasons why:

• It's maybe the most prestigious Lifetime Original Movie Ever: it stars a famous actor who is not a woman over 50 or Brian Dennehy and it was reviewed by the New York Times.


• Clark Rockefeller shows up to his wedding riding a Segway. I have no words for how much this makes me love the movie already.


• Clark Rockefeller's daugher is nicknamed Snooks.


• In the previews, his wife sets a no-nonsense FBI agent straight by saying "What's your point? That I'm brilliant, successful and good at business?" I think the same thing all the time, lady!

Hope you all watch too and I'll be back with some further comments after I view it later this week.

Law & Order SVU, You Jumped the Shark

So because we love cracking cases and all, Law & Order SVU is a must watch. Not as much as original L&O, but the show has had its moments. Unfortunately, it totally jumped the shark semi-recently with the airing of this episode, officially titled 'Wildlife".

On the upside, Big Boi is a guest star. On the downside (and to be honest, it's kind of hilarious), the episode centers around an exotic animal smuggling ring. Tons of stuff happens, and it's pretty boring, aside from the fact that Big Boi's character is a rapper named Gots Money. As his name implies, Gots Money is RICH and proves it by wearing a giant, bedazzled dollar sign necklace.

Unfortunately for him, Gots Money missteps and pisses off some bigwigs in the animal smuggling world. They throw him into a rooom with a crazy hyena that literally eats him. Stabler cracks the case when he finds some hyena barf with Gots Money's giant diamond dollar sign necklace in it. I kid you not.

Since that point, SVU has been doing all sorts of ridiculous things. Like last week when Kathy Griffin guest starred as a lesbian activist named Babs Duffy. Despite the fact that she's a lesbian, she force kisses Stabler in the episode. It's just become too much. What happened to showing some good old fashioned police work?

Anyway, hopefully Dick Wolf reads this post and interprets it as an application for me to be head writer of Law & Order SVU. Thanks Dick. I'm totally available!

Guilt Free Fries

Ok, I don't know that fries are ever guilt-free, but I love to eat them and every attempt I've made to give them up has failed. Sooo, if I'm going to eat fries anyway, eating these particular oven baked fries is really very healthy, right? Great! Glad we're all on the same page.

I came across the recipe a few months ago and now make these fries on the regular. They're great for a side with meat, obviously, and really tasty for a snack on their own as well.

As you can see, they're super easy to make and cheese is involved, so it's impossible to go wrong. I guess that's not entirely true, since I have overcooked them before, but seriously, it's one of the simplest recipes ever.

Oven Baked Parmesean Fries

Ingredients
5 russet potatoes
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup grated Parmesan

Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Peel potatoes and cut into half-inch thick slices (lengthwise) cut again into 1/2-inch thick fries. Place the potatoes into a pot with cold water and 1 tablespoon of salt. Bring up to a gentle boil and simmer until a paring knife tip goes through easily. Cooked about 3/4 of the way through.

Drain carefully and put in a bowl. Add olive oil, 1 tablespoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon black pepper. Toss well and lay out in 1 layer on nonstick baking sheet. Bake until light brown.

When brown, sprinkle with Parmesan and continue to bake until well-browned and crispy and the cheese is melted and caramelized, about 6 to 7 more minutes. Remove and let cool for 2 minutes. Serve.

The Most Mysterious Person You Will EVER Meet

Hello fellow detectives, cooks and wanna-be librarians. I would like to thank my colleague and friend Secret Blogger for setting this up and getting us moving. My name is Mysterious Blogger and I’ll use this post to provide you with a few basic facts on me, so that you can contextualize the rest of my posts.

1. I, like Secret Blogger, wish that I was a detective. I often try to solve crimes and mysteries, although because I am not a detective they usually involve figuring out if someone I went to College with has turned into a weirdo via Facebook.
2. I love to read. I’m an avid reader and, again, also like Secret Blogger, recently received a Kindle. While I’ll never abandon actual books, I definitely am hooked on purchasing trashy beach reads the second I read reviews in People magazine.
3. As you could probably guess, I love cooking. I finally gave in and bought myself a nice set of Le Creuset pots and pans.
4. I’ve been to 36 weddings in five years, and have four more this year, for an even 40 by the end of 2010.

I look forward to sharing some great books, recipes and mysteries with you!

xoxo Mysterious Blogger

Ice T's Crack Juice

I have been seeing this photo a lot on the internets lately.

Everyone seems to think it's a joke, but it's not, people! Doesn't anyone remember that Ice T has his own (DELICIOUS) energy drink? I hope, for the sake of the people who frequent this particular vending machine, that pressing Ice T's face dispenses an ice cold can of Liquid Ice. Mixed with vodka, it is the most refreshing cocktail around. It's perfect for enjoying poolside, in your house, on the go, at da club, seriously, wherever. When it first launched in 2003, I saw it everywhere. Nowadays it's a little harder to find, but I did run into a 24pack of it in a liquor store over the summer.

If you are lucky enough to indulge in a Liquid Ice cocktail, you might not want to exceed 2 or 3 drinks. After that point, you'll be completely nuts: filled with energy, happiness, rage and excitement all at the same time (hence the "crack juice" nickname). It's actually pretty amazing, but proceed with caution. Cheers!

Soup Love

One of the things I love most about being alive is the fact that soup exists. It's so dreamy! I just love it and I would eat it for every meal if I could. I will eat basically any non-canned soup that I can buy in the grocery store, from ramen to cup-a-soup to lipton noodles. I order soup about 75% of the time I see it on a menu, and pop out to buy some for lunch almost every day at work. It's a real obsession and it may be slightly insane. But, don't judge me, it makes me happy!

When it comes to making my own soup, however, I usually end up disappointed. It's hard to find a good soup recipe out there. I never feel like the end product has enough flavor. However, Giada's chicken noodle soup recipe changed all that and really improved my quality of life. Thanks, Giada! Dreams really do come true!

I make her recipe pretty much as written, with a few exceptions: I use only one lemon, add onions and more broth and don't add the grated Romano cheese at the end. She lists the parmesean cheese rind as optional, but it is NOT. It really makes the soup and you must add it. So, here's my edited version. Enjoy!

Ingredients
8 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 lemon
1 dried bay leaf
1 piece Parmesan cheese rind
2 medium carrots, peeled and sliced into 1/4-inch pieces

1 onion, diced
1 cup (about 2 1/2 ounces) spaghetti, broken into 2-inch pieces, *
1 cooked chicken breast (cooked bone in, skin on, with garlic salt and pepper), sliced into small pieces
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Kosher Salt

Directions

In a large stockpot, bring the chicken broth, lemon juice, bay leaf, and Parmesan rind to a boil over medium-high heat.
Saute carrots and onions in a skillet

Add the carrots and onions to the stockpot and simmer until tender, about 5 to 8 minutes.
Add the broken pasta and cook until the pasta is tender, for 4 to 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the chicken and heat through, about 2 to 3 minutes.

Remove the bay leaf and the Parmesan rind and discard.

Stir in the parsley.

Season with salt, to taste.

*You can use any short pasta from your pantry as a substitute for spaghetti.

Hallo Internets!

Well hello mysterious internet friends! 1 year to the date after this blog was created, we're finally getting around to posting. Why the delay? It's because we were super busy and important in 2009. There's no two ways around it.

Anyway, now it's time to kick back, relax and get your men's winter coat on. This blog is going to be NUTS!