Dream Job Alert!

It seems like the city of New York is getting really pissed that fancy clubs are becoming increasingly lax about enforcing the smoking rules. I get both sides; it really makes waking up from a night at a club a lot less depressing when you don't stink of smoke, but on the other hand, if you're spending $2,000+ to party at a club and you want a cig, you want to feel like that's your own business.

To sniff out the clubs that may have turned into underground smoking lairs, per the New York Times, city officials have taken things to the next level and deputized some hip youngsters (or young hipsters) like us:

"...in recent months, the department has deputized a team of inspectors — many of them younger and hipper-looking than the stereotypical bureaucrat — to work into the wee hours, posing as patrons and hunting for tolerance of smoking by clubs’ employees. "

The New York Times left one key detail out of this story: how exactly do I become a deputized smoking inspector? The job sounds amazing! The typical day would consist of doing whatever you want all day, then hitting da club at night. You'd get dressed all young and hip-like, flash your super important deputy inspector badge at the door, cut the line, enter and get some drinks. (Note: I am aware that steps 2 and 3 of the previous sentence are fantasies, but let's just go with it.) Hang out and be hip for a few hours so as not to attract undue attention to yourself, then put your nose to the grindtone, because it's time to start cracking the case about what the real deal is up in this club. Start grubbing some cigs from patrons and openly lighting up. If you get kicked out, the club is clean. Go to a different club and begin the same routine over again. If not, repeat til you're ready to go home and report them to the authorities in the morning! What a life!